In Katie Roiphe's article "Do We Secretly Envy the Childfree?" she discusses how people without children are sometimes looked at or thought about. Near the end of the article, she brings up the idea that people who have children must grow up and the people who do not have or do not want children have not and perhaps do not grow up. She poses the following question: "why should you have to grow up if you don’t want to?"
I have not yet had children and thus cannot give an exceedingly meaningful answer; but I don't think that having children forces you to grow up, in the sense that you cannot have fun and such. Yes, you should be a responsible adult who can take care of yourself and others but you can still do things that you enjoy. I find that I can do more fun things when I am playing with kids or babysitting than when I am not simply because they are so much fun. They have amazing imaginations, are crazy and wild and silly, have enormous amounts of energy, and get to do things that grown-ups can't do without them (like some playgrounds, rides at amusement parks, etc.). And so that is why I think it that having children does not force one to grow up in some ways.
When I was serving my mission, a father once told me that "when you're raising your kids, you're basically raising yourself." And now that I'm a parent myself I find that to be true. Does having children mean you can't have fun? Absolutely not. Yes, it can be tough and challenging at times, and there will be times when you're not having "fun", but there's nothing I enjoy more than being able to play with my daughter when I'm not at work or doing stuff for school. I realize that some people don't want to have children or even get married, but their choices and decisions don't effect me or my family, because it's their loss and not mine.
ReplyDeleteI definitly agree. I've also noticed that when my family members (who are parents) go after something they really want, they have so many people to support them, including their children. I feel like instead of forcing someone to grow up, it is a sweet relationship to grow upon.
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