Facebook and My Family (Personal Essay)

Facebook has been there for my family during the best of times…

My cousin found an app that made a photo collage of all our family members and tagged them in it.  One by one we began commenting, and within 12 minutes, I know there were 107 comments.  One cousin said, “I gotta pee but don’t want to leave and miss something.  How lame (and tmi) is that?”  So naturally, the conversation then morphed into a game of listing movie titles that sound like another way of saying #2.  Here is a small sampling:

1.     Green Mile

2.     Rush Hour

3.     Gone With the Wind

4.     The Sum of All Fears

5.     You’ve Got Mail

6.     The Holy Grail

7.     Children of the Corn

8.     7 Pounds

9.     Pay It Forward

10.   The Phantom Menace

By the end of the string, we came away with over 600 comments and a new affection for our Dalton cousins.

…and the worst of times.

When my sister’s engagement was broken off, several family members sent her messages with invaluable words of advice and comfort.  But even more than all that, I think there was one particular string of family Facebook messages that made a lasting impact.  In it, we came up with a list of descriptive acronyms to go with her ex-fiance’s initials.  We did it in an effort to both avoid using his name and cheer up my sister.  It has been years since that incident, but to this day, I’ll still hear those acronyms spring up here and there in conversation because they've become a family memory.  My personal favorite is Cubic-zirconia Jacker.  (He asked for the ring back after calling off the marriage.)

Yes, many a touching family moment has happened via Facebook.

For Valentine’s Day on my mission, my good ol’ mom sent out a request over Facebook asking people to each comment on one thing they love about me.  She then copied all the comments into a document and sent it my way.  It ended up being really sweet and I remember tearing up as I read it over, especially when I got to comments from my family.  Here is a sample, from my uncle:

When I think of Danielle, I think of the personification of being "without guile". She is the "REAL DEAL". There is nothing fake about her. She is genuine and sincere and very "WYSIWYG"!! She wishes no harm on anyone. Even when people do things that should bug her, I think she just looks at them and kind of wonders what brought that on and shrugs it off, feeling sorry for the person, rather than getting mad at them. I agree with what everyone has said about her positivity and her wonderful smile and laugh.... she even uses it when getting not so great news. If you say you can't get along with Sister Danielle Carter, you need to take a timeout and go look at yourself!!! She is every Mission President's DREAM!!

I thought that was a real compliment. I'm also not sure if a lot of that wonderful impact would have come across had it been spoken instead of written down.  It would be a little strange to hear my uncle or anyone else actually saying all that.  We talk differently than we write.  At least, I know that when I sit down to write, I can put more thought into what I say and tease out deeper meaning.  Facebook really facilitates that process when families are prepared to take advantage of it.

Oh Facebook, how do I love thee?

Now I don’t mean to say that Facebook has completely taken the place of face-to-face interactions in my family.  We still get together as often as possible.  We also attend all of the weddings, graduations, reunions, funerals, and, yes, even my cousin's decathlons (where we are usually the only ones holding up posters).  But we do so with a heightened sense of identity (almost a patriotism) for our very own family, that comes from all that Facebook stuff in between visits.  And of course, when we return home, we post our favorite memories online.  This picture is from my cousin’s wedding last weekend.  It is now my Facebook cover photo.